We found a nice place in Luang Prabang, only £3 a night for the room so we decided to book in for a few nights, we all went walking around the night market. If you like shopping for silk, foreign t-shirts, and wooden statues then this place is for you. The weirdest thing I saw was snake whisky, which actually had a dead snake and scorpion in a whisky bottle, mental.
We started off drinking at about 9:30 and went into a restaurant overlooking the river. I would like to say the view was amazing and it was picturesque, but it was dark and we could have sat in front of any river/view in the world and it would all look the same, absolute blackness.
Every dish had Water Buffalo with it so I decided to try Water Buffalo, never again. Not only would my fork not go in it, but spent the evening trying to get all of the pieces out of my teeth, which could not have looked nice with me sitting sucking my teeth most of the night.
We headed to Lao Lao Beer Garden which was a very nice setting. As I was looking at the menu I came across the bad news, all bars shut at 11:30 pm and everyone has to be in by Midnight curfew. It was now 10:40 pm. I told the group, at first they did not believe me, and seeing their faces as they read the menu was priceless. They were expecting a messy night, but the reality was we had to be back in our room in under two hours. We were all back at our guest houses by 11:45!!!
The next day we went to see a waterfall, we haggled a price with different tuk-tuk drivers, but in the end, we went with “Mr. Mole” as we all called him as he had a monster mole with lots of hairs growing out of it on his cheek, I was totally hypnotized by this, I was dying to pull it out, but then wondered if he actually knew it was there or if he actually straightened it. I then started imagining him straightening it with some GHDs and soon snapped out of it when we arrived an hour later with a numb arse after sitting on a wooden bench.
It was very nice and I swam in the pool below the waterfall. The water was freezing cold, rocks all around so I kept swimming into them.
We then decided to walk up to the top of the waterfall. I confidently started the trek and I got about 50 metres in and went down like a sack of shit, I didn’t just fall, I slid down and it felt like it happened in slow motion, which was expected really in £1.50 Primarni flip flops. My new friends didn’t help me, they just moved out of the way as I slipped down and I decided to just cut my losses I headed back to get a seat in the sun and waited at the bottom.
We decided to head back, and we got surrounded by tuk-tuk drivers for a lift back. We hunted down our driver by looking at everyone’s faces to find the mole. We found “Mr. Mole” eventually and headed back.
We went out again for tea, but I was not feeling well so I decided to head home. I had a Skype call home and went to bed early.
We got on the minibus to Vang Vieng. This was one of the worst, most uncomfortable journeys I have ever had, it seemed the bus only catered for people below 5″10, if you were any taller then it was a struggle with leg room.
Along the way I saw the real Laos, sadly, they are so poor and it is heartbreaking to see and really makes you realise how lucky you are. You can tell who is good at DIY as some were really good, and some were shit. I am crap at DIY so I would be knackered and mine would look like something off Cowboy Builders. I would need Extreme Makeover to come and sort my shit tip out!!!
The roads on the way were awful, by far the worst roads I have ever seen, but this does not stop the drivers from driving like absolute nutcases. It’s very rare I get scared in a car, so I tried to force myself to sleep so I didn’t have to watch the driver overtake on blind corners with a 1000-foot drop just inches away. I was not looking forward to the upcoming nineteen-hour trip to the 4000 islands.
We eventually get to Vang Vieng, feeling awful, every bone hurting in my arse and body.
We check in to a nice guest house, on the river, with gorgeous jaw-dropping views, our own relaxing area with cushions and hammocks, and free breakfast all for a grand total of £3.00!
When you go to a restaurant here they just have Friends or Family Guy on repeat, I do not like either so that was unfortunate.
Simon, Greg, and I decided we needed to go get a massage to get over the horrific journey we have been put through.
We found a massage parlour after trying to haggle with a few to get the best deal and headed upstairs and put us all in the same room lying next to each other on a foam mattress, normally there is a curtain dividing each person so we were all a bit unsure what we had signed up for, they then decide to lock the door, which made us all even more nervous.
30 mins into the massage and we are all relaxed now, forgetting the initial shock and then suddenly one of the girls gets up and turns the lights off so we were in darkness and then she decides to start tickling each of us, which was weird and proper awkward hearing each of us let out random giggles as we could not see the tickles coming.
The next day, we go tubing which is the main attraction here, which is basically where you get a rubber tube, like at a waterpark, and go down the river, stopping at different bars along the way, getting in your tube to move on to the next one. Yes, it is very dangerous as you are mixing a deep river with drunk people and people swinging off of rope swings into a rocky river, but if you are sensible then you will have the time of your life, act like a dick head then it may not be as an enjoyable experience.
At the start of tubing, you are dropped off at your first bar and here you are greeted with a free shot of whisky which was 50% proof, and very strong. Every shot you do, you get a wristband. Some people had an arm full of wristbands, I was a lot older than most here, so did the sensible thing and just got 1.
The bars are all similar, rope swings, jumping posts (the more down the river, the more mental they go), dance floors, chilling area, very loud music, and drinking games and it really is something you have to do if you ever come to Laos. Everyone is happy and having a good time, people all drawing on each other, dancing away!!
Laos really is amazing, if they had the beaches of Thailand then this would be the best place EVER!!!
I have a few more days here before I am going to head off to the 4000 Islands which is a nineteen-hour bus trip. I am sure the stories on this bus will be worthy of a blog post alone…
So far I have met so many nice people, you can’t walk down the street without knowing someone from somewhere else you have already met as it seems everyone is doing the same route, sharing stories and experiences…. nothing in the world beats backpacking 🙂